Osmond8 Posted November 20, 2013 Report Share Posted November 20, 2013 Every now and again...usually whilst driving, it occurs to me the actual extent of what we are doing/about to do!!... We have flights provisionally booked for January 9th... Just waiting to confirm them once the sale of our flat completes... Which alone is slightly stressful! That aside, my Mum is barely speaking to me, she was there at the time i received the call from our agent saying that our Visa had been granted.... I wanted to scream it from the hills but had to contain it to spare her feelings! I also work with my Mum... And even the mention of Australia sends her into a deep depression!... Also, my teenage daughter has decided she is not coming with us, 16years old and think she knows it all!... We have had tears, tantrums (from us both) and night after night of arguments trying to get her to see the light!.... But it has now been decided that she will stay here and live with her dad for the time being and she will travel out for a holiday and to validate her visa at Easter, people keep asking me how i feel about her not coming with us and my reply is, i don't feel anything!...in fact, i'm feeling numb about most things! i'm sure once we say goodbye to her and land in Perth the reality will sink in?! ... Also, i have become ridiculously forgetful! Forgetting silly things on a daily basis!... Sorry for such a long post but it occurred to me this morning that this really is the SURVIVAL OF THE TOUGHEST!!! But i have to say... Not once through all of this i have i questioned if it is all worth it?!! I know it will be!..... Thanks for reading, Amy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beandownunder Posted November 20, 2013 Report Share Posted November 20, 2013 Amy, You are have a tough time but your outlook is amazing and you will get through it. when you say the reality will kick in when you land in Perth it may be the reality kicking in for your daughter that you have actually gone and may make her question if she is doing the right thing. keep strong and keep asking for support on here, it's an amazing place for when you have the wobbles. fingers crossed on the flat sale and with your mum, big hugs (( )) Janine x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aligard Posted November 20, 2013 Report Share Posted November 20, 2013 Hang in there Amy. I'm sure things will settle down for you over time. Think this has to be the one of the hardest decisions we can all make in our lives, but life is for living. If it feels right then grab it with both hands. Good luck and best wishes to you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest9824 Posted November 20, 2013 Report Share Posted November 20, 2013 Every now and again...usually whilst driving, it occurs to me the actual extent of what we are doing/about to do!!... We have flights provisionally booked for January 9th... Just waiting to confirm them once the sale of our flat completes... Which alone is slightly stressful! That aside, my Mum is barely speaking to me, she was there at the time i received the call from our agent saying that our Visa had been granted.... I wanted to scream it from the hills but had to contain it to spare her feelings! I also work with my Mum... And even the mention of Australia sends her into a deep depression!... Also, my teenage daughter has decided she is not coming with us, 16years old and think she knows it all!... We have had tears, tantrums (from us both) and night after night of arguments trying to get her to see the light!.... But it has now been decided that she will stay here and live with her dad for the time being and she will travel out for a holiday and to validate her visa at Easter, people keep asking me how i feel about her not coming with us and my reply is, i don't feel anything!...in fact, i'm feeling numb about most things! i'm sure once we say goodbye to her and land in Perth the reality will sink in?! ... Also, i have become ridiculously forgetful! Forgetting silly things on a daily basis!... Sorry for such a long post but it occurred to me this morning that this really is the SURVIVAL OF THE TOUGHEST!!! But i have to say... Not once through all of this i have i questioned if it is all worth it?!! I know it will be!..... Thanks for reading, Amy Oh Amy, I think you are doing the hard yard before you get here, which by the sounds of all your problems, when you finally get here it will be a breeze, just try to think of it that way . I can't even begin to imagine how you feel about your daughter not wanting to come let alone your mums reaction to your dreams and hopes. No wonder you are a bit forgetful, must feel like you are living someone else's life at the moment....but things will get better and you will be ok, it might just seem a bit muddled every now and then. Keep sharing your thoughts, it does help to write it down and get others insights into how they felt, feel will feel. Lots of people here you can PM anytime I'm sure. pea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou8670 Posted November 20, 2013 Report Share Posted November 20, 2013 I'm going through all sorts of emotions and I don't have a difficult 16 year old in the mix so I really feel for you. At least you know it's the right move for you and are determined to make the move and for it to work. And your daughter, having validated her visa, will have the option to join you later if she changes her mind. Stay strong and sending you big cyber hugs. Lou Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmond8 Posted November 20, 2013 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2013 You are all far too kind thank you for your lovely posts. We are all toughies on here and all have different and some the same challenges i'm sure?!....just felt i needed to air mine this morning with lovely people who understand i feel like i'm having a secret affair with PerthPoms!! One that my mum MUST not know about ).....have a good day y'all x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Give me a break! Posted November 20, 2013 Report Share Posted November 20, 2013 Firstly don't be so tough on yourself what you are doing is HUGE and it will effect you in all sorts of weird and wonderful ways. Secondly we persuaded our 16 year old to come over with us to validate and 3.5 years later she is still in Australia albeit over in Brissie at the moment but still closer than the UK. She was adamant she hated Australia and we had ruined her life but life is fluid things change and you are giving her a fantastic opportunity which when she visits she'll see. It really is worth all the stress, we live in an amazing place and are all fortunate to be given this chance. Good luck my lovely , try and be kind to yourself during this process because it's easy to expect too much of ourselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
portlaunay Posted November 20, 2013 Report Share Posted November 20, 2013 I remember when Mrs p was here and I was still in the UK with the kids, trying to pack, sell, organise etc. It was all just a blur and I remember looking at old friends and family and experiencing a completely new feeling. It was one of moving forward and away. Obviously in a physical, geographical sense but also emotionally and spiritually and the barrier between us was almost tangible. I knew then that this move would be permanent, that if Australia didn't work out, I'd never be back in London. It felt as if no one around me would understand and it was very difficult to articulate to people without offending or upsetting them. For a couple of months I existed in a thin, transparent, inclined tunnel which had only one direction - forwards. I could see and hear these people outside but as I moved forwards the barrier became thicker until I was insulated from their voices and emotions. It was a perplexing and manic time. My point is that you are not alone, many people go through this experience and all deal with it and interpret it in different ways. There's an awful lot of pressure, mostly self generated, to succeed but whatever happens you'll have an opportunity to reflect and learn from the experience. Good luck, keep going, you'll be okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candygirl Posted November 21, 2013 Report Share Posted November 21, 2013 Amy, you have to do what you feel is right. Finger's crossed, in time your daughter will see what is best for her and I am sure will realise that she could have a good life in WA with her family. We have all been teenagers and we all thought we knew it all. At that age, I think I would have done just the same. On a positive note, at least she can stay with her Dad whilst you get set up over here. That will allow her to come over, you will be settled and she can see what a life she could have. The first couple of days here are busy, running round registering with everyone and finding your feet, but it really is easy and people are so helpful and friendly. I am a very organised person normally, but tbh when the flights were booked, shippers arranged, my head went to mush. I don't know what happened. This seems to happen to a lot of us and is probably par for the course. Let's face it, it is not everyday that you move to the other side of the world. As for your Mum. I am sure deep down she truly wants the best for you. My parents were very supportive of our decision, but each time we got closer I felt as though I was sticking the knife in deeper. I speak to my Mum a couple/few times a week on the phone, we email whenever we have got something to say and need to tell the other one at that moment and I love to wake up, log on and see a message from my Mum about toot (as my OH says), but I just love it and it is normal for us. I have also skyped a few times in the 6 weeks that we have been here. We are existing on a dongle, so not easy as it just swallows the data, but we have internet ordered in the house, so just waiting. I cannot wait to have my Mum on Skype and to show her our new house. I am sure this will also be good for your daughter to keep in touch and see what she is missing. Good Luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7cdb Posted November 21, 2013 Report Share Posted November 21, 2013 You are all far too kind thank you for your lovely posts. We are all toughies on here and all have different and some the same challenges i'm sure?!....just felt i needed to air mine this morning with lovely people who understand i feel like i'm having a secret affair with PerthPoms!! One that my mum MUST not know about ).....have a good day y'all x x You sound a bit nuts already ! You should be fine and it helps in here as they all a bit nuts anyway who wouldnt want to pop over the other side of the world to live eh! I have had the emotional blackmail start already by my mum! Not in a nasty way.......yet. But she has mentioned that I cant take her only grandson away from her after she has waited so long for him! As he really is her world........that got to me a little bit and she has asked 'er indoors if we are really going a few times! And we have only just started the process...... Should be fun....but we will see this Sat when they drop us off at the airport for 3 weeks in Oz Dad has been cool. Looked me in the eye and said "do whats best for your own family now son" that hit me a bit. All good just need to have a good look around now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murray146 Posted November 21, 2013 Report Share Posted November 21, 2013 God Amy!! I thought I was reading a post I'd written! My 16yr old daughter (17 in a few weeks) has also decided not to come with us and like you, I really really don't think it will hit me till I get to Australia. I'm hoping like everyone else says, that she will remember the month we had in Perth last year where all she could talk about was whether we could move to Australia! It's all so different now!!! After 10 months of her having very little to do with me, I managed to get her to see a counsellor together, and tonight will be the first time she will of stayed at my house since Feb this year. I don't know if that's because I have tickets to see the new Hunger Games movie but I'll take all I can get right now!! the counsellor says 'it's all in the power of the invitation' and she appears to be right. We are provisionally flying out on the 29th Dec and to keep up this 'power of the invitation', i'am organising for my daughter to come out for a holiday in Easter, which once again seems to make her deal with me leaving a bit better! Maybe be we should start a club in Perth when we arrive and bring our 16/17 yr old daughters along when they are there so they can talk to each other!! :-) Good luck Amy and I agree with everyone else that's posted.......We are doing the right thing and our daughters will come out and join us later when they see the light! :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7cdb Posted November 21, 2013 Report Share Posted November 21, 2013 Sounds like boys are so much easier!! Feed us,clean pants (even lightly used) couple of beers and we're good to go! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmond8 Posted November 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2013 7cdb...I agree...boys are so much easier!!!... Murray146... My god it sounds like you have been through hell already?! I have no advice to give i am petrified about leaving my daughter behind...mainly beacause she doesn't seem capable of making sensible decisions... She currently hates college and wants to leave...that i am fine with, to an extent, but we have told her not to leave until something better comes along... Anyhow..... It is getting so much colder here and i for one cannot flipping wait to get out to the sun!... The height of summer when we arrive..... I'll take that ;) thanks again everyone for your replys... So much appreciated x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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