Nikkis2000 Posted January 30, 2014 Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 I am sure Jojo your parents would never see this move as you being a disappointment, no matter what they say, this is something positive not negative, disappointing would be a child who doesn't live their life for themselves or follows their dreams...none of us see it as disappointing on pp, more a chance at a new life and different challenges to be embraced and learnt from, no more using the word 'disappointing'....ok? Not to be used in future vocab...no more 'd' word!....Lots of luck peax Well said Pea xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jojo1310 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 No worries lovely, I think maybe they know what's what, but maybe are trying to deal with it in their own way. I am the reverse to your situation, my story is, I was supposed to emigrate with my mum and dad over 26 years ago when I was a twinkle in my dads eye:wink:, but decided to stay in the UK and make a life with my then boyfriend (who has been my partner for 26 years)...I broke their hearts not coming with them and staying in the UK, but we did promise to come and visit whenever we could, and we did that and had some amazing holidays here, and eventually we got to come and live here, my dad got his wish to see us living in Australia after 20 or so years of waiting, he didn't get to see us become citizens, but I know he would be very happy and proud that we have now achieved that. Big hugs and lots of luck. Peax Oh wow! that's amazing Pea! And after 20 years you made the dream a reality! I guess we all have to make scary and tough decisions in life. Sometimes it takes time to develop into a reality, but I'm certain your dad would have been extremely proud now that you are ozzie citizens! Big hugs and thanks, always, for your lovely posts xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lancslass Posted January 30, 2014 Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Good evening everyone, I'm seeking solace in my fellow Perthpom buddies. We're at the very beginning of our journey; we are about to tell parents and loved ones of our plans to move to Australia. We literally talk about Australia, Perth, my finances step family and the life style we could live out in Oz nearly everyday; we think about how much it will change our lives for the better and we talk about how exciting our future will be if we move there. It's now all about taking that leap and committing. Ive never felt more certain about wanting to do something but at the same time I have never felt more scared. I range from one day feeling excited and beyond comprehension at what were about to commit to; I feel so happy to think I could one day live in, what I consider, to be the most amazing place in the world! To the next day feeling so sad, worrying if it's the right thing to do and the most intense feeling of all, is guilt. How can I think about leaving my family and friends and travelling to the other side of the world just to satisfy my selfish needs! I suppose, what I'm trying to ask in a round about way is, how on earth do I over come this roller coaster of emotion? Maybe it's something not to over come but maybe just learn to tackle. Sorry for the deep topic of conversation but I'm hoping that talking about it with people that are experiencing and have experience what I feel, may be able to help. Thank you, from a rather tired and emotional pom xx Hi JoJo, I feel for you. That was us 5 years ago, we went through emotions we didn't even know existed. Leaving was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I completely under-estimated the enormity of the whole experience, the look on my Mums face when we said goodbye will never leave me. I have never felt so selfish and at the same time so selfless. Selfish for leaving but selfless for giving everything up for a better future for our children. However, 5 years on and I would not change what we have gained and the amazing experiences we have had for anything. I can't begin to tell you how rewarding the move can be...I don't mean financially because for a lot it is just far too expensive even if you earn good money, house prices will eat away at a huge portion of your wage. I think I just mean people make the most of their spare time here, beach, walks, wine tours, boat trips, cycling, fishing, concerts, lots of free events and movies in the parks. Things are very relaxed if you want them to be but the City offers more if you want it and of course the weather makes it all possible. I would say just go for it! Life is so short and I'm sure your parents would rather you be happy than you living a life in the UK with regret and being miserable. It won't be easy but nothing in life worth having is easy. I would say though I think it would help if you don't say it's forever, give yourself a timescale of maybe 2 years. You may decide at that point it is home for you or you may have got everything out of Perth that it can offer you and decide to move on but what a fabulous experience you will have had and you will have memories most people can only dream of. Skype, phone calls, facebook etc. all help keep those important connections with the UK. But you do need family that are happy to use them, and you do need family that are happy to come and visit..give you their blessing so to speak. It makes ALL the difference if they support you once you are here, for us our family don't come out and my Mum won't use facebook or Skype she can't even say Australia without crying so after 5 years we are moving back. We want the children to have time with their family before they forget them, plus she has cancer..although it is being managed. Whilst we have had a fantastic time here and have really embraced the Australian life we are looking at going back as just something we have to do, the right thing for us at the moment. We may stay forever or we may come back after a couple of years, who knows what the future has in store for any of us? Good luck with your move, you will be fine and you will get a lot of support once you arrive from many, many people who have gone through the move and are very happy to help. Maybe write a diary of your experiences..it may help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jojo1310 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Oh Pea my eyes are wet xxand Jo Jo I did not talk about Oz when my son and daughter in law came, it worked for me trying not to get upset, we deal with it differently so when visiting try to hide your excitment , we parents come around in the end and then want to come and live by you . LOL Hi odies, thank you for your reply. My relationship is very close to my parents and it breaks my heart to think that they'll feel abandoned. I can't bear to think that I will be causing them such unnecessary pain and upset when they have both had a particularly tough time over the last few years. I know that my mum and dad would love it in aus and i only hope that one day they could live with us (if we chose to stay) Odies, what's your story? xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jojo1310 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Hi JoJo, I feel for you. That was us 5 years ago, we went through emotions we didn't even know existed. Leaving was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I completely under-estimated the enormity of the whole experience, the look on my Mums face when we said goodbye will never leave me. I have never felt so selfish and at the same time so selfless. Selfish for leaving but selfless for giving everything up for a better future for our children. However, 5 years on and I would not change what we have gained and the amazing experiences we have had for anything. I can't begin to tell you how rewarding the move can be...I don't mean financially because for a lot it is just far too expensive even if you earn good money, house prices will eat away at a huge portion of your wage. I think I just mean people make the most of their spare time here, beach, walks, wine tours, boat trips, cycling, fishing, concerts, lots of free events and movies in the parks. Things are very relaxed if you want them to be but the City offers more if you want it and of course the weather makes it all possible. I would say just go for it! Life is so short and I'm sure your parents would rather you be happy than you living a life in the UK with regret and being miserable. It won't be easy but nothing in life worth having is easy. I would say though I think it would help if you don't say it's forever, give yourself a timescale of maybe 2 years. You may decide at that point it is home for you or you may have got everything out of Perth that it can offer you and decide to move on but what a fabulous experience you will have had and you will have memories most people can only dream of. Skype, phone calls, facebook etc. all help keep those important connections with the UK. But you do need family that are happy to use them, and you do need family that are happy to come and visit..give you their blessing so to speak. It makes ALL the difference if they support you once you are here, for us our family don't come out and my Mum won't use facebook or Skype she can't even say Australia without crying so after 5 years we are moving back. We want the children to have time with their family before they forget them, plus she has cancer..although it is being managed. Whilst we have had a fantastic time here and have really embraced the Australian life we are looking at going back as just something we have to do, the right thing for us at the moment. We may stay forever or we may come back after a couple of years, who knows what the future has in store for any of us? Good luck with your move, you will be fine and you will get a lot of support once you arrive from many, many people who have gone through the move and are very happy to help. Maybe write a diary of your experiences..it may help. I have been so touched by everyone's responses to my post. Thank you so much Lancslass for sharing your story. The way you have explained how you felt 5 years ago just sounds like me now; you feel selfish and selfless all at the same time. You know you have to be selfish to do what you have to do and you feel selfish because you're leaving loved ones behind. But it;s a selfless act; although we don't have children to think about now, we hopefully will do one day. Ifwe can stay there for a while and gain citizenship then we hope to come back with our children and show them how we lived. But who knows what will happen as you say, we may go there and be there for a year and not like it? (I highly doubt thats the case, but you never know how things pan out!) We have a rough plan of going out there for 4 years (I think this is how long till you can gain citizenship) and then come back to the UK. I am so sorry to hear of your circumstances; it must have been an equally large decision to return but understandably one that is necessary. You are an incredibly brave and adventurous family- who says we have to stay in one place for the whole of our lives anyway! Like you said, life's too short and you have to do the msot you can in the time you have! I really hope that everything works out for you and your family and that your mum recovers. It is a shame that she hasn't mastered the art of skype and facebook because it really has made the world a smaller place. I guess this is one saving grace as I have quite tech savvy parents who I am sure will love keeping in touch that way, just beign a super close family, it's a shame you can't send the odd real hug via the internet! Thanky uo so much for your wonderful post; it's given me a real boost of confidence. Keep in touch xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odies Posted January 30, 2014 Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 my in laws children came back with their other halves to see where they were born and brought up and visit their grandparents for possibly the last time. Unfortunatly I was having a meal with all the in law family on their return and I never wish to hear that conversation again. They just saw a council house, bad weather ,small roads,and I dare not say the rest. they were basically laughing at the way we in the uk live and as for their grandparents who visited oz in the early years and send money to help all of them as they seem to have a lot of bad times, well i was speechless and said I was feeling poorly and left. What i am trying to say is please tell your children your family etc. are something to treasure in this world and the way you have gone through life gives riches in all different ways. sorry this was just reading some of the posts this came to mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odies Posted January 30, 2014 Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Lanclass, I wish you every bit of happiness in the world and wish your mum well to. A lovely post and thanks for sharing Jo jo I will pm you x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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