English Rose Posted August 14, 2014 Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 Hi all, last time we moved to Perth we had a sort of leaving do in a local pub but felt like our wedding so many people came, it was so emotional, mum crying, grandad crying and best mates blubbering. We have a great social network and big family, so we had lots of leaving dos, dinners out with people, dinners around people's houses, it was endless, very lovely, but also very emotional and then it's as though we had lots of leaving dos as no one wanted to say goodbye as such. It made things really hard for us. Our friend drove us to the airport whilst both sides of our families waved us off at home. It wasn't the best. This time round I feel so differently and am not going to have a leaving do so to speak. But then I don't know how to handle it and what to do as friends are already saying about doing so many things before we go. i don't want to sound ungrateful as I am not at all but am dreading that whole leaving thing again and not sure what's the best way to handle it. i guess I feel guilty going again. What did others do and how did you handle things??? It's so hard and sorry to go on!! Thanks Jo x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Jamesy's Posted August 14, 2014 Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 Hi all,last time we moved to Perth we had a sort of leaving do in a local pub but felt like our wedding so many people came, it was so emotional, mum crying, grandad crying and best mates blubbering. We have a great social network and big family, so we had lots of leaving dos, dinners out with people, dinners around people's houses, it was endless, very lovely, but also very emotional and then it's as though we had lots of leaving dos as no one wanted to say goodbye as such. It made things really hard for us. Our friend drove us to the airport whilst both sides of our families waved us off at home. It wasn't the best. This time round I feel so differently and am not going to have a leaving do so to speak. But then I don't know how to handle it and what to do as friends are already saying about doing so many things before we go. i don't want to sound ungrateful as I am not at all but am dreading that whole leaving thing again and not sure what's the best way to handle it. i guess I feel guilty going again. What did others do and how did you handle things??? It's so hard and sorry to go on!! Thanks Jo x Hey Jo, We are in the same position as you-got maybe another couple of months before we do the whole goodbye thing again-just waiting for the sale of the house to go through before we can start booking flights!!! Am dreading the goodbyes again to be honest. First time we had leaving parties left, right and centre-round his parents round my parents-leaving do's with friends and although I agree it was lovely, seeing everyone so upset is something I still to this day cannot get out of my head!! This time around with 2 older children and another 2 younger ones, we have decided not to have any leaving parties. Instead we are going to try and have a nice final meal out with one family then another with the other family. I remember we did this with one of our families and it was a lot less stressful and emotional and the memory is a much fonder one!!! We're not doing the whole waving us off from parents house on the last day either-that was awful-we also had a friend drive us to the airport-and having everyone gathered in the same place to say goodbye was horrendous. Instead we are hoping to go to each individual family member to have a hug and a photo and instead of saying goodbye, we're going to say "see you on Skype in a few days" before heading off to a hotel for our last night before our flight. This way we can all start getting excited for our new adventure and still be able to txt last message before heading off. This time around as well-we are leaving with the attitude "this is what we are doing at this stage in our lives for now-if it doesn't work out then we will be back (although tbh not sure that will happen!!) nothing is forever!" The word "forever" is too much for everyone involved-young and old alike. And this time although I feel incredibly guilty-more so than last time-I know that once we are out there, it's not so horrendous and we will go on to live our lives just as we did here but hopefully with more family time and will feel like we finally belong somewhere again-as the last 5 years of being back we haven't felt like we fitted in anywhere-sad but true!! So although I can't really help you, this is how we are hoping to do it again and I wish you lots of luck with your goodbyes. Wishing you all the best with your move again-we must be mad to put ourselves through it all over again!!!! Jess xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesw Posted August 14, 2014 Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 You did the right thing by not saying your goodbyes at the airport. We said ours at Piccadilly Circus the night before we moved over here. We caught a Heathrow bound tube while the parents caught one going the other way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7cdb Posted August 14, 2014 Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 (edited) I really don't get all this guilt and big dramatic goodbye thing. You feel bad when you leave a dying relative or good friend for the last time knowing you will never see them again. You feel bad when you take your dog to the vets one last time knowing you are making his last journey with him. I am taking my best friend in the world with me (the mrs) we are taking our little boy with us as we are doing this so we can watch him grow up,we are going to spend a fortune on taking the dog as he is part of OUR family. Not uncles,aunts 3rd cousins from uncle Teds side Gran and Grandad etc etc. Friends in life come and go,life and its dynamics change all the time. One thing stays the same is the desire to see this little place we live on as much as possible and if it all goes tits up. We come "home" skint but with more experience and memories than most. If it really is that bad to leave everybody then stay in the UK and start a forum called Nearly Poms in Perth........ Just saying Edited August 14, 2014 by 7cdb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English Rose Posted August 14, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 I really don't get all this guilt and big dramatic goodbye thing. You feel bad when you leave a dying relative or good friend for the last time knowing you will never see them again. You feel bad when you take your dog to the vets one last time knowing you are making his last journey with him. I am taking my best friend in the world with me (the mrs) we are taking our little boy with us as we are doing this so we can watch him grow up,we are going to spend a fortune on taking the dog as he is part of OUR family. Not uncles,aunts 3rd cousins from uncle Teds side Gran and Grandad etc etc. Friends in life come and go,life and its dynamics change all the time. One thing stays the same is the desire to see this little place we live on as much as possible and if it all goes tits up. We come "home" skint but with more experience and memories than most. If it really is that bad to leave everybody then stay in the UK and start a forum called Nearly Poms in Perth........ Just saying I'm 'just saying' that if you have feelings it's hard to just go away without any remote emotion, I didn't actually say anything of the sort about not wanting to go, far from it I can't bloody wait but I was trying to work out the best way to actually say see you soon/goodbye. As last time wasn't the best way for us. I feel guilty taking the kids away from there grandparents they are very close to but I don't feel guilty taking them and having a good adventure, and us watching them grow. Like you say if it doesn't work come back which I have done once already. So this time I have to make sure it is right. As I have been and made it a go but it didn't work that time. im allowed to express my feelings like you just have.. I mean have you done it already so you really understand?????? Just saying) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English Rose Posted August 14, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 Hey Jo' date=' We are in the same position as you-got maybe another couple of months before we do the whole goodbye thing again-just waiting for the sale of the house to go through before we can start booking flights!!! Am dreading the goodbyes again to be honest. First time we had leaving parties left, right and centre-round his parents round my parents-leaving do's with friends and although I agree it was lovely, seeing everyone so upset is something I still to this day cannot get out of my head!! This time around with 2 older children and another 2 younger ones, we have decided not to have any leaving parties. Instead we are going to try and have a nice final meal out with one family then another with the other family. I remember we did this with one of our families and it was a lot less stressful and emotional and the memory is a much fonder one!!! We're not doing the whole waving us off from parents house on the last day either-that was awful-we also had a friend drive us to the airport-and having everyone gathered in the same place to say goodbye was horrendous. Instead we are hoping to go to each individual family member to have a hug and a photo and instead of saying goodbye, we're going to say "see you on Skype in a few days" before heading off to a hotel for our last night before our flight. This way we can all start getting excited for our new adventure and still be able to txt last message before heading off. This time around as well-we are leaving with the attitude "this is what we are doing at this stage in our lives for now-if it doesn't work out then we will be back (although tbh not sure that will happen!!) nothing is forever!" The word "forever" is too much for everyone involved-young and old alike. And this time although I feel incredibly guilty-more so than last time-I know that once we are out there, it's not so horrendous and we will go on to live our lives just as we did here but hopefully with more family time and will feel like we finally belong somewhere again-as the last 5 years of being back we haven't felt like we fitted in anywhere-sad but true!! So although I can't really help you, this is how we are hoping to do it again and I wish you lots of luck with your goodbyes. Wishing you all the best with your move again-we must be mad to put ourselves through it all over again!!!! Jess xxx[/quote'] Hey Jess, Thanks so much for your reply, nice to know people understand and going through the same thing. I think we sound in a very similar position!!! And have the same attitude of give it another go why not! I am going to do what you are I think even though my parents are split up so will have to do three meals!! thanks again and good luck to you to. I have a feeling we are going out the same kind of time. Xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7cdb Posted August 14, 2014 Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 I'm 'just saying' that if you have feelings it's hard to just go away without any remote emotion, I didn't actually say anything of the sort about not wanting to go, far from it I can't bloody wait but I was trying to work out the best way to actually say see you soon/goodbye. As last time wasn't the best way for us. I feel guilty taking the kids away from there grandparents they are very close to but I don't feel guilty taking them and having a good adventure, and us watching them grow. Like you say if it doesn't work come back which I have done once already. So this time I have to make sure it is right. As I have been and made it a go but it didn't work that time. im allowed to express my feelings like you just have.. I mean have you done it already so you really understand?????? Just saying) So your a ping pong Pom then and that's why I like English Roses,beautiful to look at with great big thorns to get you! Relax ER,opinions are like arseholes everyone has one. Don't take it to heart it's just how things are written sometimes..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English Rose Posted August 14, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 So your a ping pong Pom then and that's why I like English Roses,beautiful to look at with great big thorns to get you! Relax ER,opinions are like arseholes everyone has one. Don't take it to heart it's just how things are written sometimes..... You have made me smile... Sorry bad day I do apologize. Yes I am a ping pong Pom don't I know it!!! I can assure you I don't have thorns. I know we all have opinions that's why I like this site. Rather be on it then 'Nearly Poms in Perth' xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7cdb Posted August 14, 2014 Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 You have made me smile... Sorry bad day I do apologize. Yes I am a ping pong Pom don't I know it!!! I can assure you I don't have thorns. I know we all have opinions that's why I like this site. Rather be on it then 'Nearly Poms in Perth' xx Mate when we are all out there next year,we will meet up for a beer (glass of fruit based drink for the ladies ) and have a laugh about this bloody journey,good luck with it,all of you xxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English Rose Posted August 14, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 Mate when we are all out there next year,we will meet up for a beer (glass of fruit based drink for the ladies ) and have a laugh about this bloody journey,good luck with it,all of you xxxxx sounds like a plan.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Jamesy's Posted August 15, 2014 Report Share Posted August 15, 2014 (edited) Hey Jess,Thanks so much for your reply, nice to know people understand and going through the same thing. I think we sound in a very similar position!!! And have the same attitude of give it another go why not! I am going to do what you are I think even though my parents are split up so will have to do three meals!! thanks again and good luck to you to. I have a feeling we are going out the same kind of time. Xxxx Hi English Rose, Yes it is nice to know other people are in the same position, someone who understands when all those around you don't-which is why myself am a Perth Poms addict!!! Maybe if we weren't so emotionally in tune with our feelings we wouldn't be bothered-a female seems to understand this emotional side of the move more than men-(please don't attack me for being sexist-"just saying"!!!!) We have sold the house and hoping to go within the next 2 months so have nothing booked yet until we get an actual date set in stone!!! going from Gatwick and heading back up NOR-what about you?? I also cannot wait, it has been a long time coming and looking forward to feeling the sand in my toes again!!!! Jess xx P.S. Good luck with all your farewell meals-hope they go well xx P.P.S. 7cbd Not sure about the fruit based drink for the ladies-more like a very large wine after our emotional turmoil!!!! Edited August 15, 2014 by The Jamesy's Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JasonM Posted August 15, 2014 Report Share Posted August 15, 2014 Dont think it is a male or female thing. From what I have read on here some men have found it harder than their other halves. I think it is more of a personal thing and how close each Individual is to their family or friends and also which person in the relationship is pushing the move. Good luck all and hope to be out next year myself. My wife keeps having a wobble so I dread to think what she is going to be like when the time comes. May have to hire a hitman for the MIL joking Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English Rose Posted August 15, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 15, 2014 Hi English Rose' date='Yes it is nice to know other people are in the same position, someone who understands when all those around you don't-which is why myself am a Perth Poms addict!!! Maybe if we weren't so emotionally in tune with our feelings we wouldn't be bothered-a female seems to understand this emotional side of the move more than men-(please don't attack me for being sexist-"just saying"!!!!) We have sold the house and hoping to go within the next 2 months so have nothing booked yet until we get an actual date set in stone!!! going from Gatwick and heading back up NOR-what about you?? I also cannot wait, it has been a long time coming and looking forward to feeling the sand in my toes again!!!! Jess xx P.S. Good luck with all your farewell meals-hope they go well xx P.P.S. 7cbd Not sure about the fruit based drink for the ladies-more like a very large wine after our emotional turmoil!!!! [/quote'] Hi Jess, We are in the same boat, sold the house its just going through, submitted 457 visa last night so not sure how long that will take, and then head out once we have the visa. I have a 5 year old and 2 year old so not sure about whether to let my daughter start her first year back at school here in Sept or wait to start school out there. I know the 4th term starts on the 14th Oct so would like to have something sorted for her by then. We lived SOR before but want to try up NOR this time, even though I am not sure where. Want a good school close to everything the usual!! Not too much to ask where did you live before? Are you going back to the same place? Thanks with the good luck. You too good luck. Hopefully catch up sometime when out there. xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English Rose Posted August 15, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 15, 2014 Dont think it is a male or female thing. From what I have read on here some men have found it harder than their other halves. I think it is more of a personal thing and how close each Individual is to their family or friends and also which person in the relationship is pushing the move.Good luck all and hope to be out next year myself. My wife keeps having a wobble so I dread to think what she is going to be like when the time comes. May have to hire a hitman for the MIL joking Noticed your from Bedfordshire Jason. I am in Rushden Northants. Whatever anyone thinks or says its hard for anyone. But at least we seem to somehow connect and understand each other as we are heading hopefully for the same thing. good luck to you too. x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Jamesy's Posted August 18, 2014 Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 Hi English Rose, sent you a PM, Jess x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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