JaseandAnne Posted December 17, 2015 Report Share Posted December 17, 2015 Hi, I'm 45 soon, wife is 37 and we have two kids 6 and 15 months!! Wife left her job in July I leave mine end of Jan, house is sold and we exchange contracts this week!! Due to fly out mid march to Perth. But this week I've had a complete meltdown about being homeless, jobless and the worst thing of all is that I have 2 teenage daughters from my previous marriage who, although they have active PR visas, obviously want to stay with their mum! I suddenly feel really guilty about taking their little brother and sister away from them!! I feel guilty about selling their home!! my girls are telling me to go and they will come out in the summer holidays but my Ex has said she doesn't want to be gone more than 3 weeks!! This has also put a downer on it! I'm suddenly worried about everything, ruining my relationship with them, them with their siblings and my wife. I feel like pulling out of house sale and just putting it all in the too difficult to do box !! this is the second lot of visas I've had and they run out sept 16, so it's now or never as I'm too old to do em again. I know we can always come back but will damage be done!!! Jase Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted December 17, 2015 Report Share Posted December 17, 2015 Jase I am very sorry to hear that you are feeling like this, but can I tell you it is quite normal at this stage of migrating, to have deep concerns over whether you are doing the right thing. It is obviously something that you have wanted to do very much or you wouldn't have gone through the visa process twice, so as you are so close to your departure date now, why not go ahead with the journey and see where it takes you. You might always regret it if you don't take the opportunity. Anyway, migration isn't a permanent move if you don't want it to be, and if it doesn't turn out for you, you can always go back to UK again. Hope you are back to your positive happy self very soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duffieldtowers Posted December 17, 2015 Report Share Posted December 17, 2015 I came at 45 in 2011, that was the cut of age. I've had some success and not one regret. I didn't have kids left back in the UK, but what are doing is giving them options, short term pain, long term gain. Good luck. If I can help, let me know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaseandAnne Posted December 17, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 17, 2015 Guys thanks for replies they have really helpful, I have decided to take each stage as it comes, we completed on our house today so no going back!! Move into my mums at the start of Jan then sort out holiday rent, flights etc. Finishing work is the next stage, but im looking forward to that bit!! And if I cant get on the plane? I'll cross that (air) bridge when I get to it. Jase Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaseandAnne Posted December 17, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 17, 2015 Sorry exchanged on house not completed!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plimthing Posted December 17, 2015 Report Share Posted December 17, 2015 If you didn't have meltdowns you wouldn't be normal. You're about to embark on a big adventure, and believe me, the roller coaster has only just started! Don't let me put you off, there are some nice bits along the way! Always remember you are completely in control of when you want to get off. Good Luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rpakey Posted December 17, 2015 Report Share Posted December 17, 2015 Hi, I'm 45 soon, wife is 37 and we have two kids 6 and 15 months!! Wife left her job in July I leave mine end of Jan, house is sold and we exchange contracts this week!! Due to fly out mid march to Perth. But this week I've had a complete meltdown about being homeless, jobless and the worst thing of all is that I have 2 teenage daughters from my previous marriage who, although they have active PR visas, obviously want to stay with their mum!I suddenly feel really guilty about taking their little brother and sister away from them!! I feel guilty about selling their home!! my girls are telling me to go and they will come out in the summer holidays but my Ex has said she doesn't want to be gone more than 3 weeks!! This has also put a downer on it! I'm suddenly worried about everything, ruining my relationship with them, them with their siblings and my wife. I feel like pulling out of house sale and just putting it all in the too difficult to do box !! this is the second lot of visas I've had and they run out sept 16, so it's now or never as I'm too old to do em again. I know we can always come back but will damage be done!!! Jase Sounds just like my Mrs! I guess the way I see it is this, live aint no dress rehearsal, and when you get to a certain age you certainly are aware that life is too short I would rather live with no regrets than always look back and wish I had (or hadn't) done something Go with an open mind, as people have said, it doesnt need to be forever One thing I will say though 'If you think you can, or you can't, you are probably right' This is a great quote, I remind myself of it all the time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted December 19, 2015 Report Share Posted December 19, 2015 Sorry exchanged on house not completed!! Oh no.... what happened? I hate the way that happens in England. Happened to us the day before completion with a 5 person chain that had taken 6 months to get to that point. House went back on the market and we hit the property slump in Sussex in 1991 and when we finally sold after another 6 months we lost GBP65,000 on what the house had originally been sold for. Totally stuffed our finances for years. So hope this doesn't happen to you! Let us know??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaseandAnne Posted December 20, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 20, 2015 No its all good Rossmoyne, I said the wrong word, we've exchanged contracts and complete on the 8th Jan. The buyers have paid the deposit required on exchange so its pretty much done. Thanks everyone for their advice, it really helped. Jase Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benj1980 Posted December 26, 2015 Report Share Posted December 26, 2015 Go for it! The older children have got a wonderful opportunity if they so wish, you've done everything you can for them. Fair play to you. I'm still pretty fresh off the boat but my children already say they'd hate to move back to the uk! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaseandAnne Posted January 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2016 Thought Id give you guys a quick update, we moved out of our house and into my mums which is just round the corner. Interesting living back at mums!! Seems odd to see someone elses cars outside our house!! (not our house anymore my wife tells me) , So money's in the bank!! Flights booked for mid March. Finish work on the 31st January which I'm very much looking forward to. So, I'm having a bit of an optimistic moment. However, I have to say that even if I got a job that paid similar money and wife got a job with similar money, we would still struggle to buy a house like the one we've just sold in the current UK housing market without putting the money we've taken out back in, it wasn't anything special just a 3 bed semi on a pretty good estate. A couple of friends have just bought houses on the est admittedly they bought 4bed detached which are up around the £300K mark but they have got £260K mortgages!!! I don't think I'd sleep. So if we do decide to come back I just hope the housing market has crashed!! Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 Thought Id give you guys a quick update, we moved out of our house and into my mums which is just round the corner. Interesting living back at mums!!Seems odd to see someone elses cars outside our house!! (not our house anymore my wife tells me) , So money's in the bank!! Flights booked for mid March. Finish work on the 31st January which I'm very much looking forward to. So, I'm having a bit of an optimistic moment. However, I have to say that even if I got a job that paid similar money and wife got a job with similar money, we would still struggle to buy a house like the one we've just sold in the current UK housing market without putting the money we've taken out back in, it wasn't anything special just a 3 bed semi on a pretty good estate. A couple of friends have just bought houses on the est admittedly they bought 4bed detached which are up around the £300K mark but they have got £260K mortgages!!! I don't think I'd sleep. So if we do decide to come back I just hope the housing market has crashed!! Lol Good luck hope it all goes well.Have you settled on a area for when u come out. It is hard starting again and very scary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pegg Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 You never know whats going to happen , however i do believe the UK house market is going through a false boom ….. Alot of large building companies in our area are selling land and cutting wages …. i feel its one last ditch attempt to get people trapped into buying over priced new builds . just my opinion ;o) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaseandAnne Posted January 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 Good luck hope it all goes well.Have you settled on a area for when u come out.It is hard starting again and very scary Hi Deb, yes I think we are going to look around Baldivis for a long term rent, when we were out before we really liked the newness of it and our friends kids went to Tranby college and it seemed a really good school. We've only ever been south of the river so will probs have a look around the North to see what the suburbs are like but might do that once we've taken a rental in south to give us a bit of time to do proper checking out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaseandAnne Posted January 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 You never know whats going to happen , however i do believe the UK house market is going through a false boom ….. Alot of large building companies in our area are selling land and cutting wages …. i feel its one last ditch attempt to get people trapped into buying over priced new builds . just my opinion ;o) No I think you are right Pegg, where we live has seen a 6% over the national growth in house prices which is bizzare considering the central part is one of the most deprived areas in the south!!! Having said that I was speaking to a women the other day who was from London having just moved down, she bought the flat from the pictures on Rightmove!!! Never even came to see it, its just on the edge of the bad bit and she said compared to London its fab!! Must be completely nuts!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verystormy Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 Well, if you are going to buy in Perth, the average house price is well north of $500k. If you want to be in a beach suburb or somewhere close to the city, double that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pegg Posted January 12, 2016 Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 End of the day guys … you cant take it with you !!! Why stress over mortgage payments until theyre paid off 10 years before you die ! Just enjoy life and live for now x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted January 12, 2016 Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 End of the day guys … you cant take it with you !!! Why stress over mortgage payments until theyre paid off 10 years before you die ! Just enjoy life and live for now x So true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted January 12, 2016 Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 Hi Deb, yes I think we are going to look around Baldivis for a long term rent, when we were out before we really liked the newness of it and our friends kids went to Tranby college and it seemed a really good school. We've only ever been south of the river so will probs have a look around the North to see what the suburbs are like but might do that once we've taken a rental in south to give us a bit of time to do proper checking out. We are not far from baldivis.Ones you are here you will find what suits you.We where going give North ago but endend up staying South Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sideshowdeb Posted January 12, 2016 Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 I'm on the other side of moving with a teenager. I moved 17 months ago bringing my then 15 year old son with me. He left his father, step mother and 2 younger sisters behind. He FaceTimes them all the time, sends little things in the post for his sisters and makes silly moonpig cards. I know it's not the same as being there but kids are so resilient. I don't think any of them would say the distance has spoiled their relationship at all. Because they talk on the phone and FaceTime they have more genuinely focused conversations than we do, sitting in the same room with the tv on or with our iPads on our laps. It's certainly different now, and they do miss each other but it works. There would be something wrong with you if you didn't have major doubts at this stage. Just have faith in yourself and try to remember why you started this crazy journey in the first place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaseandAnne Posted January 12, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 I'm on the other side of moving with a teenager. I moved 17 months ago bringing my then 15 year old son with me. He left his father, step mother and 2 younger sisters behind. He FaceTimes them all the time, sends little things in the post for his sisters and makes silly moonpig cards. I know it's not the same as being there but kids are so resilient. I don't think any of them would say the distance has spoiled their relationship at all. Because they talk on the phone and FaceTime they have more genuinely focused conversations than we do, sitting in the same room with the tv on or with our iPads on our laps. It's certainly different now, and they do miss each other but it works. There would be something wrong with you if you didn't have major doubts at this stage. Just have faith in yourself and try to remember why you started this crazy journey in the first place. Thank you for your post that's very encouraging. Jase Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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