pegg Posted March 13, 2016 Report Share Posted March 13, 2016 Hey guys , so we move to WA in June and wow what a journey …. but we like that , hey lifes a journey ) Anyhow just wondering what reactions you guys got when you told your loved ones …. "hey im moving to OZ " !!!!! For us its been weird …. we have spoke about moving downunder for years - yet now the visa is here and flights are booked , its like shock horror !!!! Both of our parents are not happy at all … its very awkward indeed. Even some friends are really cold - i mean , theve stopped texting calling etc …. strange indeed . the negative vibes we are getting also , are deffo starting to grate a little ….. however we will not let them speak badly infront of our kids . I feel we are nice people … we always look at the positive , and just enjoy life ……. infact if you meet us, we want you to enjoy life too - always want people to be the best they can ! …….lifes for living guys . Anyhow back on track , rambling abit …… So what reactions have you had …… more to the point , has it got better once youve moved out to Oz???? Just a little thread for you guys to mull over ;o) Keep smiling guys ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steely Posted March 13, 2016 Report Share Posted March 13, 2016 We have told everyone, and with both sets of parents no longer with us, and neither side of the family, being particularly close, hardly any reaction at all, except the 'we knew you would' reaction. Colleagues on the other hand, have been very supportive, and I guess, like most of those who have made the trip already, and those waiting for the green light, a massive queue of 'best' friends already planning their visits! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louloubelle Posted March 13, 2016 Report Share Posted March 13, 2016 Sport to hear your negative reaction s @pegg. It was so hard for me to tell my mum and dad and although they took it well we don't talk about it, very awkward and its going to be awful these next few months. Apart from 1 friend who decided to no longer be my friend (she has issues) and I think for her it's easier to not have me as a friend than deal with me leaving is the better option!!! Everyone else has been great, very supportive. Haven't told my work colleague yet, not until I get the visa grant at least. We are very much positive people and can't bear the negativity but what will be will be and I think you will find that closer to the move and there after people will not want to part on bad terms and will come round. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benj1980 Posted March 13, 2016 Report Share Posted March 13, 2016 Initial reactions weren't great, but we were open and honest throughout the process discussing our progress. Family came round and now planning their trips. People who ignore you aren't worth worrying about, but then I'm a bit cut throat like that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 It is funny isn't it how people react so differently to the news that you are emigrating. But I actually think that says more about them than it does you. When my children and I emigrated to Perth to join the rest of my family here (parents, sibling, aunt and cousins), I didn't have any negativity from family at all as they were all living in Perth and couldn't wait for us to join them. Newly ex-husband was an orphan and didn't give a wotsit as he just wanted to move on to his "single and unemcumbered" life (his words not mine), but boy the reactions from friends were very mixed. Some friends just ended the friendship straight away... some could see why we were doing it and whilst saying they supported us, soon dropped off the radar once we arrived in WA... and then there were the others who supported us to the hilt with so much help, physical, emotional, and in a couple of cases, financial until the house sold. That last little group have been out to see us many times during the past 25 years, are still very much involved in our lives, as we are theirs. From my personal experience, I think that some people, however close they are to you, can only look at their personal view and how your decision will affect them - they cannot see that we all have different dreams and ambitions and have the right to follow these. I think the worst thing though is when parents and other family members start doing the "guilt-trip" thing to try and stop you emigrating - surely that will only cause bad feelings all round whether you stay or go. I understand how hard it is to let people go, but you have to do so with love and generosity. My offspring are in their 30's now and my son moved over to Queensland for work 3 years ago.... broke my heart to see him get on that plane, but it was what he wanted to do and I raised him to be his own person and I support him 100%. He has grown and blossomed in those 3 years and has now bought a house on the Gold Coast and loves everything about his new life. I know that the distance between us is nothing compared to the UK/Oz distance, but it still means that we have to depend on skype and texts and emails to keep in touch regularly, and I am so grateful for that as we didn't have that in my day when I was travelling and living away from family and had to rely on snail mail and very expensively timed phone calls. Bottom line though is that everyone has a life and makes their own choices, and if you love someone, you support them in those choices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pegg Posted March 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 nice feedback , cheers guys …. funny though @louloubelle , as our parents find it easier to "just not talk about it" , like it wont happen then ;o) ah well soon be dipping my toes in the ocean mmmmmmmm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 @pegg hopefully they will come round... so get the "not talking about it" attitude.... I am commenting after a 25 year journey... I hope it works out OK for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duffieldtowers Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 Father in law demanded to know why no one thinks about him. He was 65. A lot of our friends disappeared or distanced themselves. We even got deleted from Facebook as the chap hated to see our new life. The friendships that remain are stronger. Don't do high maintenance friends. Good luck, see you on the other side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynseylou Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 Totally feel your pain Pegg. Love your positive attitude though and I like to think I am a bit like that myself. Life is meant for living, life is short, and just now we are stuck in a rat race. Hubby working seven days a week. Life is just flying by. I want to dip my toes in the ocean! To see my hubby go to work without 3 layers of clothes, then a boiler suit and then waterproofs and wellies. I know the heat can take getting used to but when we lived in Oz before he did some roofing and coped fine with the heat. He even got sent home when it rained! Just dreading telling the family though...... I don't want to break my mum and dads heart, but I feel it is the right decision for our family. We currently are about 4hrs away but they come up every couple of weeks and we go down during the school hols. I just don't want to have this conversation. We will probably have more time together as they could come out for blocks of time and stay with us but I suppose it is just the thought that we could be there in a couple of hours if need be. So, so hard x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouLouSkippy Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 Hey... We have had same reactions... Both sets of parents not happy mainly because they won't see the grandchildren.... Work colleagues very supportive and most friends have known for a while that we were always going to go... I do feel selfish at times...as 10 year old doesn't want to go... But life is to short and if we don't give Aus ago we will so regret it!! I do find everyone has a story when they find out we are going about how they would love to go or thought about going... Or I get.... your really going to go with out jobs... To which I answer life is an adventure. Getting kinda boring now!! You will be there a month before us so please keep us updated with your adventure!! Lou x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pegg Posted March 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 … the thing is , with air travel - the world kinda is a small place ….. and if it doesnt work out in WA , we may try somewhere else . One thing that does get me about the UK is everyone obsessed with paying off mortgages and money money money , We just want to live and really enjoy our kids etc . Our parents have had and still are living there lives … and wow , they could come and stay for a couple of months . But its the digs we keep getting from them at the moment grrrrr ! But we cant wait to get a post on here though once weve arrived ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louloubelle Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 I've just seen my parents today and I try and keep them in the loop with what's happening so I told them about the medicals on Saturday and it didn't spark any conversation or interest just an awkward silence......... real conversation killer. It's hard to know how much/little to say but I can only assume it's going to get worse over the next 6 months which I am dreading. I am trying to put myself in their shoes and imagine how I would feel but it's happening regardless so why can't the last few months be happy ones!!!! Argh, it's was never going to be easy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Takeme2Oz Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 My inlaws have been a nightmare!! They have all known about us wanting to move over since we got back from our WHV 5 years ago. I think they always thought it was a bit of a pipe dream even though I've completely retrained and changed careers to something that was on the SOL. They just keep asking how we are going to afford it (haven't got an answer to that question) it's just total negativity every time Australia is mentioned and my husbands grandmother just keeps talking about how she won't be here much longer (she's as fit as a fiddle) . My sister in law "can't believe I'm taking her niece and nephew away from her" even though she gets plenty of chance to see them at the moment but just doesn't bother. Feel like it's all going to kick off soon especially since my 5 year old who was all excited about going came back from mother in laws the other day saying "you can go to Australia without me cos grandma said I can stay with her" grrrrrrrrrr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louloubelle Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 Hmmm, I feel your pain @Takeme2Oz, we just all need to focus on why we are doing this, for ourselves and our children, I am very much the kind of person who cares too much about what others think but now I'm realising it's time to look after me and my own. I'm finding the negativity is not making me want to stay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Takeme2Oz Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 Hmmm, I feel your pain @Takeme2Oz, we just all need to focus on why we are doing this, for ourselves and our children, I am very much the kind of person who cares too much about what others think but now I'm realising it's time to look after me and my own. I'm finding the negativity is not making me want to stay. @louloubelle you are totally right. This type of behaviour just makes it easier to leave!! Just finding it very hard to keep biting my tongue!! X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benj1980 Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 @louloubelle you are totally right. This type of behaviour just makes it easier to leave!! Just finding it very hard to keep biting my tongue!! X Agree totally! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pegg Posted March 15, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2016 yey keep positive guys ;o) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pegg Posted March 15, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2016 (edited) It will be all worth it when the sun is shining ….and you are all walking on the beach im sure !!!! whoop whoop. Louloubelle - its hard with a 10 yr old…….our son is now 11 and when he was 10 he didnt want to go - however,now after starting high school and hes hating it! he dosent like his new school at all ….. So it has worked in our favour!!!! He cant wait now. relief ;o) Edited March 16, 2016 by pegg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louloubelle Posted March 15, 2016 Report Share Posted March 15, 2016 Ah yes. We thought we would try and get there before my daughter started high school she is 10 this June, she doesn't seem too phased by the prospect of moving but my 7 year old does!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kazb67 Posted March 26, 2016 Report Share Posted March 26, 2016 We haven't told any family yet except from my dad & my family in Aus. All are delighted for us & can't wait for us to get there so our wee boys can grow up together. My dad applied for contributory parent visa 1 year ago so I'm quite sure that's part of the reason he's so happy for us. If he hadn't, or isn't successful, it'd be a different story. No guilt trips or negativity but he'd be gutted! I have a large family & whilst they will be very sad to see us go, they'll understand & be supportive......I hope. My brother moved out approx 7 years ago & they always thought I'd follow but since I've had a son they think that's me settled here now. In actual fact its the complete opposite. The main reason I haven't told anyone else yet is because of my mother-in-law. She will go absolutely nuts!! Anger, guilt trips, the works!!! Haha we can hear it all now "you can't take my grandson away" "can't believe yous are being so selfish" " what happens if it all goes wrong, you'd be better off here" "living abroad isn't as gd as you think". The thing is, they lived abroad for many years due to my father-in-laws work & left my OH here when he was younger. They only permanently moved back a couple of years ago so my OH pretty much had to do everything for himself as they have a very small family. She won't see it from our point of view atall so it'll be hard to bite our tongues when it all kicks off!! Im not sure if I should be there when she finds out or not. I want to support my OH but I have a feeling I may end up being blamed for dragging her son half-way around the world! Haha. We've not even told her we've booked to go for a hol in Nov as we know that won't go down well either! :-) families...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherry Allen Posted March 26, 2016 Report Share Posted March 26, 2016 My mum made me feel guilty when we first moved out to Perth, so much so that we ended coming back because of her. So many phone calls telling me how much she missed the kids etc, it put a lot of pressure on us. I found that lots of family members and friends were quick to say they would visit, but when we were there suddenly no one had the money to visit and it became 'out of sight out of mind'. Still not stopping me going back for the 5th time next year! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pegg Posted March 26, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2016 My mum made me feel guilty when we first moved out to Perth, so much so that we ended coming back because of her. So many phone calls telling me how much she missed the kids etc, it put a lot of pressure on us. I found that lots of family members and friends were quick to say they would visit, but when we were there suddenly no one had the money to visit and it became 'out of sight out of mind'. Still not stopping me going back for the 5th time next year! You go for it ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted March 27, 2016 Report Share Posted March 27, 2016 My mum made me feel guilty when we first moved out to Perth, so much so that we ended coming back because of her. So many phone calls telling me how much she missed the kids etc, it put a lot of pressure on us. I found that lots of family members and friends were quick to say they would visit, but when we were there suddenly no one had the money to visit and it became 'out of sight out of mind'. Still not stopping me going back for the 5th time next year! Sometimes you just have to put other peoples feelings aside and do what you want to do with your life, as emotional blackmail can erode relationships so badly if you give into it. Talking with my "experience and should have learnt it earlier" hat on here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pegg Posted March 27, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2016 Another funny little thing where finding is …. that all the furniture we are not taking , is being vetted / viewed by family members … even "post it notes" have been mentioned to reserve bits ! Gosh its like when someone dies - the family gather round to see whats up for grabs !!!!! BUT WHERE ALIVE !!! ;o) All in good fun though guys …. we love people and there actions ) ……. Only 70 days till we land - FAB ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynseylou Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 So I finally told my parents and in laws this weekend. As expected my mum and dad were supportive but I think may be devasted. .... My mum said she didn't sleep the night after I told her, my parents are so close to the grandchildren. I am so sad to be leaving them too but we are not local to them currently so hoping a move would allow us more concentrated time together e.g if they come out for a month instead of occasional trips during the school holidays. We Skype regularly and call so that wouldn't change. We are currently 4hrs away from them. The in laws were surprised but supportive of us going to Australia but were dead against WA as they are from the east coast, and that is where immediate family live. They were saying "Perth is the most isolated city in the world" I don't think they have been there for 20 years and have no idea what it is like now. We were there 10 years ago and spent a bit of time with family and really liked it. The cost of rent is much higher in the Sydney area and to be honest we are not going to be living on the doorstep of either sets of grandparents. They are just back from NSW last week and love north NSW. Oh well, it is a relief to have it out there. Let's just hope the house sale goes through quickly ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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