louloubelle Posted August 31, 2016 Report Share Posted August 31, 2016 7 weeks until we arrive, we have been talking about this since May last year, all the time been very upfront and honest with family and friends. My mum and dad have not spoken about the move even when I've broached the subject t but I've ensured they have been informed of developments every step of the way. Whilst I can't imagine how they must be feeling it's getting really difficult to cope with now, my mum not speaking to me and dad stuck in the middle. I don't know what to do for the best? I don't think going round and making her talk about it is going to help but I don't want to leave it either. Any one experienced anything similar? I'm really worried the next 7 weeks are not going to go smoothly and we won't spend that good quality time together we should all be having Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted August 31, 2016 Report Share Posted August 31, 2016 What about writing her a letter/card ... thank her for all she's done and that she has helped you become the person you are, one that is able to think for themselves and to follow new adventures. Tell her you know that it's difficult for her but that she's not losing you, that this is something you need to do for you and your family just as she and your dad have done things for them and you as a family. Tell her how much you love her but her not talking to you is making this last few weeks when you should be making some cherished memories to take with you very difficult, that you don't want to leave the country with her not talking to you because when the miles separate you it will be much harder to breech the gap. Tell her you can't wait to welcome her to your new home and to show her the life your carving out for yourselves and it's because she made you brave enough to want to try. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louloubelle Posted August 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 31, 2016 That's a really good piece of advice @ali, thank you very much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pegg Posted August 31, 2016 Report Share Posted August 31, 2016 You know @louloubelle we had all emotions running up untill the final few days , mil said if we go that we should never come back ….. my parents didnt mention it …… BUT those last few days , well it was like our own funeral/wake kinda thing ( hard to explain ) …. But it seemed all the things that wanted to be said where said , like they would never see us again ???? We organised lots of family days out and nights at pub etc . But the final goodbye was so hard , both sets of parents breaking down - but breaking down with love , they just said be safe and they would miss us …… but all we felt was sheer love ! And also the mil who said dont bother coming back is coiming out in december for 5 weeks !!!! ) I think also make sure they know how to skype … wats app is also goo on phone to send messages and pictures . But it is going to be hard , but you have one life and hey Australia for now …. France next and hey who knows where else !!!! The worlds a smaller place now ) Good luck , we know how hard this bit gets …… And when you get here - best advice i got was take your time …… dont rush into everything , relax and take it all in ! Oh and check out the sunset on the beach , it all seems worth it then ;o) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louloubelle Posted September 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2016 Thanks @pegg, I remember the difficulties you had before you left. I know it's going to get worse before it gets better but my husband is really good at putting it all into perspective for me and I have some really supportive friends too. It's all going to go so quick now and before I know it I will be on the other side watching that sunset too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 I was going to say exactly what Ali said above. Writing a letter the old fashioned way by hand has to be the best way of communication when the face to face verbal kind isn't working. I do hope it works out Louloubelle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cammie Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 hi loulou we are going through something similar at the minute , the mil quickly changes the subject when i try and talk about the move and my eldest son says i am abandoning him even though hes 30 at xmas but my youngest son is all for it and says its about time i did something for myself for a change .I feel awful leaving my sons and especially my grandson and knowing i will have another grandchild the end of feb next year is utterly heartbreaking but like my son and hubby has said im doing this for me and they can come over anytime for a visit . we arent having a farewell party just a meal with close family so im sure everything will come good then hoping so anyway x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfie Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 (edited) My mil was difficult. They refuse to use a computer we have offered to pay for internet and an ipad for contact. Their old fashioned attitude is really funny. They think someone will take money from their bank account lol. We have tried to explain ..... Give me strength. We have been told you know what we look like no need for skype !!!! They refuse point blank to visit dispite being 70 and 74 they are fit and strong walk the Welsh mountains for hours taking a picnic in a ruck sack. Be thankful for small mercies i suppose. We just accept it now. We phone each time hubbys home once every 3 weeks and i ring inbetween. They ring Xmas day????? They still do not accept our choice to move..... But my fil has a map of Australia and marks off every where we go. It gives them as we call it " exclusive bragging rights" for the rest of the very close family .....so be it ...... Ps i have a 30 yr old son back in Wales who also wont visit ..... Are we lucky or unlucky who knows ..... Edited September 2, 2016 by elfie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pegg Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 aww @elfie that difficult - good on you guys for getting through it ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfie Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 aww @elfie that difficult - good on you guys for getting through it ) We have no choice Pegg we had a rough ride getting here and plenty of dramas since. We finally beginning to settle since getting our own home. Theres nothing more theraputic than hammering sawing and painting ... Renovating our home has been medicine for me. I still find it diffocult 4.5 yrs in to make female friends i have a few who are good friends who tolerate my quirks. But finding like minded women here is very hard. You also get dived on if you dont agree on how wonderful Oz is on this forum and drink copious ammounts of coffee have only recently been back on here after a long spell away .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pegg Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 We have no choice Pegg we had a rough ride getting here and plenty of dramas since. We finally beginning to settle since getting our own home. Theres nothing more theraputic than hammering sawing and painting ... Renovating our home has been medicine for me. I still find it diffocult 4.5 yrs in to make female friends i have a few who are good friends who tolerate my quirks. But finding like minded women here is very hard. You also get dived on if you dont agree on how wonderful Oz is on this forum and drink copious ammounts of coffee have only recently been back on here after a long spell away .... Ha ha , i know what you mean ….. But yep you have to be honest and say what you feel , alot of problems here that people shy away from . We love the ocean …. so for us Australia seemed the best place , but might not be forever - who knows ! Although if we could get a mortgage weve spotted a fab little house - doer upper ) But hey , enjoy your renovation ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 We have no choice Pegg we had a rough ride getting here and plenty of dramas since. We finally beginning to settle since getting our own home. Theres nothing more theraputic than hammering sawing and painting ... Renovating our home has been medicine for me. I still find it diffocult 4.5 yrs in to make female friends i have a few who are good friends who tolerate my quirks. But finding like minded women here is very hard. You also get dived on if you dont agree on how wonderful Oz is on this forum and drink copious ammounts of coffee have only recently been back on here after a long spell away .... Elfie I am pleased that things are going well for you now you are in your own home, and I totally agree there is nothing quite like the reno thing to keep you going. Yes it is hard to make friends as a mature person coming into a new country as you don't have the young children to help you connect through school, sports etc. The offer to meet for coffee is often just a way to offer friendship... and many of us take that offer whether we are coffee drinkers or not. Once we get to our middle/senior years, we all have "quirks" as you say, and I guess we all look for friends who will bond with us and either accept or tolerate our quirks. I hope your family come and visit you... especially your son... so they can see what your life is like now compared to how it was in Wales. And also to meet your beautiful woofer.... Rossy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cammie Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Ha ha , i know what you mean ….. But yep you have to be honest and say what you feel , alot of problems here that people shy away from . We love the ocean …. so for us Australia seemed the best place , but might not be forever - who knows ! Although if we could get a mortgage weve spotted a fab little house - doer upper ) But hey , enjoy your renovation ) hi pegg , hubby wants to buy a doer upper aswell if we can get a morgage and ive read that first time byers get a $20000 grant aswell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfie Posted September 4, 2016 Report Share Posted September 4, 2016 The doer uppers have more land around them☺we looked at building the plots are so small and the show houses are clinically set out straight lines every whete lots of wasted space. Yes you can change the plans slightly at extra costs so many hidden costs, but then everyones likes are different. Also can nearly touch the house next door, this is suppose to be detatched.... Rennos are fab if you can complete work yourself and costings are far lower than using tradies constantly. Plumbing and electrics have to be done by tradies re void house ins....☺but there are legal ways around this also so weve found out cutting costs further. Good luck future renovators enjoy ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weedolly Posted September 4, 2016 Report Share Posted September 4, 2016 hi pegg , hubby wants to buy a doer upper aswell if we can get a morgage and ive read that first time byers get a $20000 grant aswell You don't get first time buyers grant now for an established property. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pegg Posted September 4, 2016 Report Share Posted September 4, 2016 hi pegg , hubby wants to buy a doer upper aswell if we can get a morgage and ive read that first time byers get a $20000 grant aswell Prob is - Its $10,000 for new builds only . And i think you maybe able to apply for help $3000 on older properties…… But some really nice projects out there . I think if we could secure a particular property we've spotted wed stay here forever ) But one step at a time i supose . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New Life Down Under Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 Yes Rossmoyne a letter or card means so much more than a text or facebook message!!! But hey call me old fashioned! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 Yes Rossmoyne a letter or card means so much more than a text or facebook message!!! But hey call me old fashioned! "Old Fashioned".... but I love your style! Rossy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FOL Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 WTheres nothing more theraputic than hammering sawing and painting ... Renovating our home has been medicine for me. Ugh, if something kills me from the inside, it's **@#@(#$U renovating. We're in it for 2 months now and still a fair bit to go and I am 200% done with it. It's driving me nuts. Different strokes for different folks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfie Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 Ugh, if something kills me from the inside, it's **@#@(#$U renovating. We're in it for 2 months now and still a fair bit to go and I am 200% done with it. It's driving me nuts. Different strokes for different folks 18 months in house is now liveable. Just a new kitchen and all inside is complete. The the real hard work begins outside as its an abomination. But at least there are no triffids growing inbetwern pavers any mote lol and i mean triffids Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.