Lou8670 Posted April 2, 2013 Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 Hi all. Sorry for the length of this post but I am having a wobble... I am quite new to this forum but have been surfing the sister site Poms in Oz. I have found that some people on the site can be quite negative about Oz and this has caused me to have a wobble!!! We received our Visa Invite on Sunday and have completed all of the information requested online but still need to submit payment. I am relatively sure I want to do this but I have so many concerns and worries. My sister in law lives in Rockingham and is desperate for us to join her. I am 42 and my husband is 35 so I see this as our last chance to emigrate to Oz which we toyed with for a long time. I also have Aussie family in Melbourne. My mother in law has said she will apply for a contributory parent visa if both her children are in Oz! She's like my hubbie and nothing fazes her!!! I am originally from the UK but have lived offshore for 20 years so I am used to being away from my close family. Still, being the other side of the world is scary scary thought! We have 3 children aged 6, 6 and 8 all at private school. They all love Oz and I'm sure they will settle there well. It's just me I who is worrying...and I do tend to worry! So what worries me.... What are the schools like...will I and the children like school in Oz? Will they get the same opportunities both in school and in their activities as they do now? My eldest loves maths, physics and is extremely sporty representing our island in both swimming and rugby. Will my hubbie get a good job? We both have good jobs here but need a change. We both work at a senior level and are both qualified accountants. Will we make friends? I have made loads of friends here over the years but probably only have half a dozen I can really truly rely on. Are we just not really appreciating what we have here? Do we just need a change: take a bit of a risk enjoy the ride and if we don't like it get off? We've done it before when we took a year out to do a ski season 10 years ago. ?????arrrrggggg!!!! Hubbie says if I don't want to do it we won't go but I know he wants this so badly and I do too (i couldn't wipe the smile off my face when we received our visa invitation) and I know it's not the end of the world we can always come back (although I potentially will lose my residency where I have lived for the past 20 years and so will my children so we would be reliant on my hubbie residential status to come home). Any advice, reassurance/ positive feedback would be appreciated. Cheers Lou Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmond8 Posted April 2, 2013 Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 Hi lou, we are hopefully only a couple of months away from recieving our visa... So not in Perth yet! I'm pretty sure that what you are feeling now is only natural and part of the process?... My husband and myself have wanted this for so many years and i think any doubts we have had have been round and round in our heads dozens of times already!! Now i seem to have tunnel vision and just imagine us actually being there on a daily basis! My personal opinion is that it's better to give a shot than spend the rest of your lives wondering if it would have worked out?...kids are much stronger than we think...given their ages i'm sure they will settle in and adapt before you know it... My eldest daughter is 16, she really didn't want to come in the begining but now is on board.. Our twins are 6 and we talk about Oz to them everyday!!!.... It's never going to be easy but definitely give a shot.... Good luck, Amy x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou8670 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 Awe thanks Amy. I'm sure you're right and as some very good friends of ours said to us "you two will make it wherever and whatever you decide to do" which encouraging. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
travelchic Posted April 2, 2013 Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 I am a member of poms in oz and have decided to stop looking on it. It seems that there is an argument every day and it seems to be the same members. There seems to be a lot of unhelpful criticism which helps no-one. I have decided to stick to this site Debs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou8670 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 Thanks Debs. By the sounds of it there are a few who seem to want to just bitch at everyone else which is a real shame. I'm using the sites to find out info, get some support and help others if I can like others have helped me. It's really s**tty to see some of the comments when people are making such big decisions in their lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
travelchic Posted April 2, 2013 Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 I know. Someone made an unwelcome comment about my profession and although I gave as good as I got, and I got support from other members, I was furious. I would never be rude to other people like that and I would chastise my 6 year old son for doing it. Decided not to bother after that lol. As for your situation, I think you've probably just got the jitters coz you're not planning anymore. Now you are doing. Now it's real lol. Plus now you have children to consider which always makes it harder. Debs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adjutant Posted April 2, 2013 Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 The most helpful advice I could give is to give it a go ... I think its better to have tried than to never know. In many peoples cases family will be a pull factor back at some point, so rather than charging right in consider leaving your house here and renting it out. In Perth just rent for a while and if after a couple of years things are going well and you want to buy maybe then sell your UK home. You will constantly compare lots of things for a while .. but eventually it will subside and you will see the good and bad of both places and can make a longer term decision from then. But with an age range much like my own time is not on your side and your kids ages a good time to do it. Things have a great way of working out for the best ! Cheers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmond8 Posted April 2, 2013 Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 Group hug??!!.... Hope everything works out for the best... I'm sure it will Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou8670 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 Thanks all. Your posts are making me feel much better. Especially as you have children of similar ages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted April 2, 2013 Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 Hi Lou, Our Big sister (PIO) can be just that at times ... too big and I do find for Perth specific things you get a far more balanced view on here. No one will tell you it's perfect, but you'll get to hear the good and bad in a balanced way ... not everyone slagging of Perth because of it's isolation when they've never set foot in the place. I was 41 when we came and my children 7 and 11, my children have thrived here .. they're both very different personalities, one is academic and the other sporty. My daughter, now 18 says she's been glad to have had her teenage years here in WA and started UWA this year and is loving it. I can't answer you questions about jobs, but be prepared that you might not get something right away (worse case scenario) and bring enough funds to manage for 6 months. There are good and bad schools anywhere, do your research about what you want, some high schools offere academic extension programmes for maths, science and English. There are plenty of sporting clubs that offer swimming and Rugby. Making friends realistically takes time, in the 6 years we've been here we've developed some fab friendships. Have you made friends in the other places you've lived? Why would Perth be different. Leaving one place doesn't mean you have to dislike or hate the place you're leaving, we had a good life in the UK and we have a comparable life here - you need to think about what it was that made you apply for your visa in the first place ... do those reasons still stand? Nothing has to be forever .. come over see what it's like, think about what things would make you want to return how badly will it effect you if e.g. there's no cows (saw that one recently and didn't know if it was a joke lol). Having a wobble is human nature and quite natural. Good luck xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verystormy Posted April 2, 2013 Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 Having a wobble is normal and I think most people do. I would suggest you do some research about your jobs and which areas might be best for you. A starting point in seek.com.au Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Cow Posted April 2, 2013 Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 How you're feeling is normal. It's a huge decision to emigrate and you would prob be abnormal if you didn't feel apprehensive? I came here in my mid forties, hubs not far off fifty? We have settled here and are just about to build our second home, so it's worked for us. I say give it a go, you'll never know. All the best to you and yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest9824 Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 (edited) Hi all. Sorry for the length of this post but I am having a wobble... I am quite new to this forum but have been surfing the sister site Poms in Oz. I have found that some people on the site can be quite negative about Oz and this has caused me to have a wobble!!! We received our Visa Invite on Sunday and have completed all of the information requested online but still need to submit payment. I am relatively sure I want to do this but I have so many concerns and worries. My sister in law lives in Rockingham and is desperate for us to join her. I am 42 and my husband is 35 so I see this as our last chance to emigrate to Oz which we toyed with for a long time. I also have Aussie family in Melbourne. My mother in law has said she will apply for a contributory parent visa if both her children are in Oz! She's like my hubbie and nothing fazes her!!! I am originally from the UK but have lived offshore for 20 years so I am used to being away from my close family. Still, being the other side of the world is scary scary thought! We have 3 children aged 6, 6 and 8 all at private school. They all love Oz and I'm sure they will settle there well. It's just me I who is worrying...and I do tend to worry! So what worries me.... What are the schools like...will I and the children like school in Oz? Will they get the same opportunities both in school and in their activities as they do now? My eldest loves maths, physics and is extremely sporty representing our island in both swimming and rugby. Will my hubbie get a good job? We both have good jobs here but need a change. We both work at a senior level and are both qualified accountants. Will we make friends? I have made loads of friends here over the years but probably only have half a dozen I can really truly rely on. Are we just not really appreciating what we have here? Do we just need a change: take a bit of a risk enjoy the ride and if we don't like it get off? We've done it before when we took a year out to do a ski season 10 years ago. ?????arrrrggggg!!!! Hubbie says if I don't want to do it we won't go but I know he wants this so badly and I do too (i couldn't wipe the smile off my face when we received our visa invitation) and I know it's not the end of the world we can always come back (although I potentially will lose my residency where I have lived for the past 20 years and so will my children so we would be reliant on my hubbie residential status to come home). Any advice, reassurance/ positive feedback would be appreciated. Cheers Lou I guess the answer is, you wont know until you try it! I think people post opinions on forums, some negative, some positive, but it is only their opinion and maybe they ARE negative, but that might be that THEY have had a negative experience here in Oz and are trying to relay that so as to stop others making the same 'mistakes', but in life, mistakes are made, that is what makes lives colourful and lived!. I think even in the present climate, Australia is still doing quite well, and it looks like a better option compared to alot of places in the world. Even people who come here and have a negative experience, at least they have had that experience, and I think it still enriches their lives (they probably dont think it at the time) but its a life lesson, it may be that you come here and dont like it, and see the UK as a wonderful place, but its taken you to come here to realise what you had. Living here is like a good wine, it may take a while to mature and it may cost quite a bit, and maybe its not everyones taste, but some will love it and some will hate it. Thats my analogy! I really dont think its always healthy to always hear what you want to hear, but I understand that some people will be negative about places and countries whatever, I guess we just have to put things into perspective as much as we can and do what we think is right, only you can decide whats best for your family. Good luck. Edited April 3, 2013 by guest9824 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhosefitter Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Its easier to live life with a mistake rather than a regret. I had all the same feelings and some due to me leaving a 6 month old daughter behind but fingers crossed they're joining me soon and we'll be together as a family again. I simply said to my fiance "Would we be any worse off if we have to go back to the UK after trying it out?" The answer was a resounding no so it was a case of what the hell. Just go for it. I've found if you encounter problems they initially always seem amplified because your out of the comfort zone of being "At home" but take a step back and the majority are similar to the ones you overcame every day in the UK. Good Luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New Life Down Under Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Hi Lou, Our Big sister (PIO) can be just that at times ... too big and I do find for Perth specific things you get a far more balanced view on here. No one will tell you it's perfect, but you'll get to hear the good and bad in a balanced way ... not everyone slagging of Perth because of it's isolation when they've never set foot in the place. I was 41 when we came and my children 7 and 11, my children have thrived here .. they're both very different personalities, one is academic and the other sporty. My daughter, now 18 says she's been glad to have had her teenage years here in WA and started UWA this year and is loving it. I can't answer you questions about jobs, but be prepared that you might not get something right away (worse case scenario) and bring enough funds to manage for 6 months. There are good and bad schools anywhere, do your research about what you want, some high schools offere academic extension programmes for maths, science and English. There are plenty of sporting clubs that offer swimming and Rugby. Making friends realistically takes time, in the 6 years we've been here we've developed some fab friendships. Have you made friends in the other places you've lived? Why would Perth be different. Leaving one place doesn't mean you have to dislike or hate the place you're leaving, we had a good life in the UK and we have a comparable life here - you need to think about what it was that made you apply for your visa in the first place ... do those reasons still stand? Nothing has to be forever .. come over see what it's like, think about what things would make you want to return how badly will it effect you if e.g. there's no cows (saw that one recently and didn't know if it was a joke lol). Having a wobble is human nature and quite natural. Good luck xx As always, great advice from Ali! In my experience, both personally and professionally I find the people who move over here with everything and leave no loose ends behind in the UK tend to make a more successful transition. You are right to have a wobble, the bull in the china shop who just steams in without considering the consequences is often the first to crumble! Trust me, if you turn down this opportunity you may never get one again and you will regret it! It is better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all and spend a life of regret! Good luck, its 35 degrees today in Autumn, now that should give you something to smile about! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StraighttothePoint Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 (edited) I am 42 and my husband is 35 so I see this as our last chance to emigrate to Oz which we toyed with for a long time. e have 3 children aged 6, 6 and 8 all at private school. They all love Oz and I'm sure they will settle there well. It's just me I who is worrying...and I do tend to worry! So what worries me.... What are the schools like...will I and the children like school in Oz? Will they get the same opportunities both in school and in their activities as they do now? My eldest loves maths, physics and is extremely sporty representing our island in both swimming and rugby. Will my hubbie get a good job? We both have good jobs here but need a change. We both work at a senior level and are both qualified accountants. Will we make friends? I have made loads of friends here over the years but probably only have half a dozen I can really truly rely on. Are we just not really appreciating what we have here? Do we just need a change: take a bit of a risk enjoy the ride and if we don't like it get off? We've done it before when we took a year out to do a ski season 10 years ago. Any advice, reassurance/ positive feedback would be appreciated. Interesting and you are quite right to feel anxious. Any parent wanting to do the right thing would be. Mind you is part of it just an accountant thing? In your jeans? I have worked most of my life having to report directly to Finance Directors and they are a nightmare. Risk and quick decisions never seemed to be on the agenda!! Anyway for what it is worth here's my tuppence worth. We came out here when I was 46 and we did it because my wife was born here. I have never settled and, although I like the lifestyle and the weather, in my case 46 was far too old. Way too settled in what we had, i.e. a good job, pay, lifestyle, home life and so on. My wife agreed on that at the time but for her home is home I suppose. Also the place we came from had bags more history, culture, places to go, loads of job opportunities and things to do. Have I regreted it though? Not one bit because my wife and son are happy. Happy wife, happy life. So some will be ok at this age and some will not. The only way you will know is when you get here. Schooling. By the sounds of it some of the State schools here would not suit and you will therefore need to choose your suburb carefully. With your career backgrounds, and lifestyle, suspect that you will end up in one of the better suburbs anyway and so you will get access to a better quality State school or can go private. Bottom line is if you are coming here, you need to use the schools and so worrying if they are better or not, or if you will like them, is kind of irrelevant. You will be here and committed and they are what they are. Some great, some ok and some sh+t+. As for rugby this is not really a rugby state. Aussie Rules and soccer with the latter very popular due to the continuing volume of incomers from Europe. Swimming more of a go and sure the competition will be fine. Loads of goal medal winners come from here so if your son is that good he will get the competition he needs that's for sure. Will you get good jobs? What does that mean? A job you like, a job that gives you a position of seniority and respect, a job that pays a lot or one that allows you time to enjoy life here? Or one that gives you all of that? Jobs are available and with your backgrounds they will be well paid. Liking the ones you end up with is another matter. Tactically you may do what many of us have done here and that is get a job, gain some experience and move onto another one. It is not necessarily a career making city more a making cash city, if that is what drives you and you get into the right circles. Personnally I left a career that was good and have gone backwards ever since but boy have I had some fun along the way Will you make friends? Of course you will over time. Note though that these threads are full of folk "looking for friends" and that should tell you something. It does me. This is one lonely place for some people. You will make many accquiantances but real, true friends? Nobody can tell what will happen or who they will meet until they get here and start to build up relationships. Are you not really appreciating what you already have there? Difficult one that. You probably have a good set up by the sounds of it and if you come here then that "security" may disappear for a while until you settle, get sorted and the kids are happy in school. Could take a few months, could take a year or two and again nobody has the answers to that because we are all different and re-act to change in different ways. If you want to do this, just do it and stop worrying about the line items, the individual transactions and the accurals If after you have done all the research, you must do that to get some detail around your plans, and you have worked out all the budgets then draw a line in the sand and make a decision one way or another. After all it is only a Visa invite you have at the moment and so you have time to decide. I do not think the 40+ means much other than you are getting more settled with life, and nothing wrong with that, it just means you probably realise abit more of what you actually have. Good luck. Edited April 4, 2013 by StraighttothePoint Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loulou Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Hi Lou We are making the move in 7 weeks time and I sometimes think S@@@ what are we doing lol! We have 2 boys age 8 & 4 and family in Yangebup not far from Rockingham which i am hoping will help us to settle in , just the little things like doctors and dentists and also deciding good areas to live. As another poster said its better to have tried then in a few years think what if? and thats how we are looking at it . Good Luck! Lou Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 I read somewhere (probably Face book), something along the lines of ... it's better to look back and think I'm glad we tried that as opposed to I wish we'd done that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonandsarah Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Iam 3 weeks from flying and still have little wobbles even with everything in place house car jobs etc I think its only human. I too finf PIO very negative maybe I will look here more instead. Good luck Sarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou8670 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 "Interesting and you are quite right to feel anxious. Any parent wanting to do the right thing would be. Mind you is part of it just an accountant thing? In your jeans? I have worked most of my life having to report directly to Finance Directors and they are a nightmare. Risk and quick decisions never seemed to be on the agenda!! Have I regretted it though? Not one bit because my wife and son are happy. Happy wife, happy life." Thanks for this...really made me laugh and my OH said you have his sense of humour! :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bellaleggos Posted May 19, 2013 Report Share Posted May 19, 2013 Well I think we've established it's definitely normal to have a wobble! And then most used saying of all, you'll regret it if you don't try. I think you already have a little bit in your favor in that you have family here, saying that its not your family, but they are someone to ask questions if or maybe who can guide you. I definitely think your children would regret not having a chance of living here if they found out when they are older what could've been. My partner and I moved out here 10 yrs ago in June. We'd never visited oz and knew no-one. It took a good few years to settle. W now have 2 young children, and to be honest it's the 5 years since having the first that have been the hardest, and where I've missed family most (even though they've visited and we've been home). I have a lot of friends, my partner not so much, but then I think having the school run to do helps with this. On saying that I only have one that I explicitly rely on in a crisis, and who does the odd babysitting for us. You sound like you are sensible and normal :-) with all the things you are worrying about, but I honestly think you'll regret it if you don't try. Good luck ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beandownunder Posted May 28, 2013 Report Share Posted May 28, 2013 Lou8670 - the fact that you smiled when you got the visa invite surely tells you it's the right thing? We're right at the beginning, been on PIO and also find it negative so just joined here :-) Hope it all goes well, I will be stalking your progress as OH is accountant and were applying for 189 on his profession ( I'm a midwife) We also have small children to consider and I guess I will have lots of wobbles along the way too! good luck, Bean x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andyplasterer Posted May 28, 2013 Report Share Posted May 28, 2013 You only live once go for it, come back if you dont like it what have you got to loose, you will kick yourself in a few years if you never give it a go and leave it too late to try . Im going and its a big risk for us with 3 teenagers (18, 16, 13) but after 12 months of trying to getin and almost £8000 spent im definitely not giving up now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted May 28, 2013 Report Share Posted May 28, 2013 I am a member of poms in oz and have decided to stop looking on it. It seems that there is an argument every day and it seems to be the same members. There seems to be a lot of unhelpful criticism which helps no-one. I have decided to stick to this site Debs Yes Debs I agree with your comments about certain posters on PIO. PIO used to the the "go to"site for anyone migrating to Oz, but it seems that the whingers and trollers are slowly taking over the site. So sad! I do still look on there now and again and make a comment if suitable, but agree with you that PerthPoms is a much better site if you are intending to come here or already live here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ukchris Posted May 28, 2013 Report Share Posted May 28, 2013 I would look into the cost of schools if I was you, if you want to educate your kids in private schools like in the Uk the costs maybe too much. Accountants dont get paid as much in Oz from what I have seen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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